Renunciation vs Relationships

Often, people enter the path of practice with sincerity and determination to transcend dukkha and thus leaving this cycle of rebirth. Thus one ordain and eventually through perserverance, faith and determination, one achieved peace and concentration through consistent meditation and ascetic practices.



In this article, I wish to address the issue of attraction towards the opposite sex- because this is a real challenge towards practice. Even years of practice with strong concentration (jhanic and even psychic powers), one can still find it difficult to overcome feelings of lust and attraction (kamaraga) especially if one is again reunited with one's long time spiritual partner.



Many people do have their own spiritual partners- usually someone who have practiced with us through many lifetimes. Often, we would live with that person as husband and wife in many lifetime. Even the Buddha and Ajahn Mun had their respective spiritual partners where they have gone through the trials and tribulations of the path till one realise the path of Arahantship.



It is not surprising that due to the joint kamma and determination made together through many lifetime, we can easily meet our spiritual partner again in our lives striving as a monk or nun. When one meet one's long time spiritual partner, the strong bond and attraction held through many lifetimes become very hard to break. The kammic bond of reuniting with one's long time spiritual partner is very different from the usual association with laypeople- of which is not much of an issue to a seasoned practioner who follows the Vinaya and applying asubha practices. And usually, the monk or nun who have been adept at meditation practice will recognize his /her own spiritual partner when it comes to meeting back with the person.



I have seen a few cases whereby monks (some well known) who have been practicing for decades, and teaching laypeople and meditation for years get stuck when they are presented with this challenge. Often, this issue is not really addressed openly even among the monastic community and therefore the practioner who is encountering this issue finds it hard to deal with because it is a totally new level.

In this article, I have compiled some sources relating to advice by past Ajahns on this issue.

The late Ajahn Thate spoke of this issue in depth in his autobiography- where he himself even after years of practice, realised through his meditation of his long time spiritual partner- and how he realised the danger towards one's practice when one is not skillful enough to deal with this situation:

22.2 The Latent Tendencies and Defilements of the Heart (chapter 22.2 of his autobiography):

During this period, when I was fearlessly pressing forward with my practice, something disagreeable came up as a meditation vision. It's something that should be revealed to my readers so that some of the shameful tendencies of the defilements can be exposed. Recognition of the harm of this type of defilement might then perhaps serve as a caution for their future restraint.

The image that appeared was that of a middle-aged woman, someone whom I well remembered from about five or six years previously. She had then been a lay supporter of mine, full of faith and sincere intentions. I considered her a good person, a person of Dhamma, courteous and refined, someone suitable for me to be associated with and a fine example of a genuine upaasikaa[152] of the Buddhist Teachings. Her physical appearance was rather ordinary, or so it seemed to me. Apart from that, I had never given her much thought except recalling her kind support to me as a monk — for a monk lives dependent on others.

When the image appeared in my meditation, she seemed to be sitting close to me on my right, in a rather familiar way. There then arose in my heart a spontaneous feeling as if the two of us had been living closely together for what seemed like decades. Yet there was no lust or desire involved in it. This shocked me. I withdrew from meditation and examined my heart but I couldn't detect any feelings of attachment towards her. Furthermore, I hadn't given her a moment's thought over the previous five or six years. Why then should I have such a vision?

After a more thorough investigation, I came to understand the nature of the latent defilement of sensuality (kaama-kilesaanusaya). This lies deeply submerged in the 'ocean bed', beyond the reach and understanding of the negligent person.

— A person possessing wisdom but lacking faith, energy and dauntless perseverance, will be incapable of searching out and confronting it.
— A person possessing faith, energy, and dauntless perseverance but lacking wisdom, will still be incapable of eliminating it.
— A person possessing faith, energy and dauntless perseverance together with wisdom; and someone who develops meditation by steadily cultivating those virtuous qualities without lapses will be able totally to eliminate the latent tendencies.

I then proceeded to reflect further about those meditators who had successfully achieved all the absorptions[153] yet could still be deceived and fall down badly because of the defilements of sensuality and lust. They take the sort of vision that I
have just mentioned as genuine, as truly signifying that they had been husband
and wife in a previous life.[154] This leads to the arising of tenderness and affection,
sexual excitement and desire that develop as is their wont into the searching
out of that 'vision'. There is then a meeting and a frank telling of what should
not be revealed. The twin live wires already run side by side and if some metal
object comes too close it has to be attracted and pulled in. They make contact
and that is why it's possible for so many meditators, particularly monks —
sometimes they have even been senior Teachers — to fall into the abyss. On
seeing such a vision, instead of being alarmed and seeing it as a threat and
danger — and therefore arming themselves for victory over it — they submit and
ally themselves with it. What a waste!

The Lord Buddha recounted how human beings and animals born into this world, one and all, have been mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, husbands and wives. they have all been relatives to one another — in one or another birth. Perhaps even the poultry and pork that we eat might be the flesh of our father or mother from a previous birth. We still have defilements and so are liable to die and take birth, to die and be born through countless lives. Yet what sort of case is it when a seductive
vision arises just once, and one is lured away and goes after it.

Well, now that we have already exposed and shamed Maara,[155] the defilements, I would like to relate another instance.
This concerns an attractive young woman. She and her parents and relatives held
me in deep regard and I tried to help by advising and instructing her in
morality and virtue. I particularly wanted her to see the hazard inherent in the
feminine condition and to keep to the brahmacariya precepts all her life. Yet
events didn't turn out that way for instead she went and lost her virginity in a
very unfortunate way. When she came to her senses, she was overwhelmed by
tearful remorse. I happened to hear about this and felt a deep weariness with
all such gullibility and credulousness. Afterwards, she both respected me and
felt ashamed before me. All I could think of was: 'how could things have come to
this pass?'. Looking at her, I felt that although her form might appear human,
her mind-state was that of an animal. The more I thought about it, the more it
made me feel sick and tired about her and the whole matter — almost to the point
of nausea. This state of mind persisted for many years afterwards and that
nauseous feeling would arise whenever I recalled the incident. There was such a
strong feeling of weariness — I had never felt anything quite so deeply before —
yet it certainly was not the correct way of practice. However, that had all
happened in the past.

Afterwards, I came to reflect on the harm of sensuality, pondering the extent of its fierce severity. When it arises in the underlying personality of anyone it can vent its power and devour its victim.
This may happen regardless of whether the person has moral principles or is
delinquent, or whether they are seasoned meditators who have reached the highest
levels of absorption. The only exceptions being the Lord Buddha and the
arahants. Sensuality is totally lacking kindness or consideration, being like a
tiger pouncing on a defenceless puppy and cold-bloodedly consuming it.
This made me feel a lot more sensitive and open towards that young woman. She had
always had wholesome intentions, had hoped to be good yet passion can be so very
destructive. It pounces without caring whom its victim is. It is this sensual
desire that must bear so much of the blame and is unforgivable. This increased
my sympathy and compassion for her.
Those who are still sunk in the depths of the flood of sensual desires must come to birth in the sensual realm. This sensual realm or sphere is a place to develop spiritual virtues.[156] For those who want to progress in the way of the heart it
is the field of battle where one can fight for victory. While for miscreants, it
can become their graveyard.
The sensual realm or plane of existence is endowed with a full complement of natural resources, and all the outer and the inner ones are complete. Persons of wisdom can take advantage of this in whatever way they want. If there are no trees in the forest, where will one go to find herbal medicines? If there are no doctors then such medicines remain useless. If there are medicine and doctor, but the sick patient refuses treatment or will not take the prescription, they cannot cure their
illness.
Those who see any 'worth'[157] in the sphere of sensuality and engross themselves in its
array of sensual delights are called 'worthies of sensuality'.[158] Those whom the poison of sensuality has infected and are
aware of its virulence are called 'handicapped by sensuality' (Kaama-tote).
Those who have totally relinquished all sensuality are called 'freed from
sensuality'.[159]

Ajahn Thate also mentioned that another monk, who was endowed with psychic abilities and could read the mind of others was also challenged in this sense- and therefore he taught that even with strong samadhi (meditative concentration), when one lacked wisdom (panna) in understanding the body and the three characteristics (anicca, dukkha, anatta), one would not be able to transcend this obstacle which would either make or break one's practice:


Chapter 23: 23. Fifteenth Rains Retreat, 1937 Bahn Pong in Maer Dtaeng District

After staying to receive teachings from Ven. Ajahn Mun for a suitable length of
time, Venerable Kheung and I took our leave to go off in search of solitude and
secluded places by following the Maer Dtaeng River upstream. We stayed in a
secluded spot near a mountain area of tea plantations. I left Venerable Kheung
to watch over our belongings in an abandoned monastery at the foot of the
mountain, while I climbed the ridge to find a suitable place to stay above. It
happened that a young woman came strolling by flirting with some local young
men. Venerable Kheung saw this and he too became intensely excited. When I came
back down from my place on the mountain and saw the state he was in I tried to
counsel him and recommended various ways he could use to still the emotion — but
without success.

I had had an intimation of such a possibility ever since he had first come to stay with me. At that time, he had told me about a vision that he had experienced while staying with Ven. Ajahn Mun in Maer Suay District. He said that hearing about me had inspired him so much that he wished to meet me.
He had then had a vision:
'A road appeared that led straight from him to
where I was. He made a trouble-free journey along the road that ended right at
the foot of the stairs leading to my hut. He then seemed to catch hold of the
stairs and started climbing — they seemed extremely high — up to me. After
bowing to me three times, I offered him a complete set of robes but he refused
to accept them.'

It seemed that circumstances were beginning to fit in with his vision. I also felt as if our sympathetic association had reached its limit.
That morning during the meal, he had lost his temper with me over some
insignificant issue. By the evening, he had come to see me and admitted his
fault. He related his experience of the previous evening when lust had overcome
him at seeing the flirtatious young woman. His meditation throughout the
following night had not been successful and he came to take his leave and go off
wandering alone.

About three months later, we met again and I encouraged him to make a fresh start with his meditation: "If you have enough determination, it's still possible for you to succeed. Please, just have done with it and start afresh".
Nevertheless, he wouldn't accept this advice and afterwards I
learned with great regret that he had disrobed. He was a strong-willed
individual and did nothing in half measures, but he was also very opinionated
and even Ven. Ajahn Mun's Dhamma talks didn't always convince him. He had once
been a 'tough guy' back in his home village before ordaining and leaving without
any real goal in mind. He originally came from Nam Gam Village in the district
of Taht Panom.
The Six Higher Psychic Powers[162] — one example being 'knowing the minds of other beings' —
are not something common to every person. They will not necessarily arise in the
practice of everyone who meditates. With some people no matter how refined their
mind becomes no higher powers will arise. While other people meditate and when
the mind converges into momentary or access concentration (kha.nika- or
upacaara-samaadhi) these powers develop.
Venerable Kheung was adept at training his mind to enter tranquillity and he could remain in such a calm state all day and night. While walking around in seemingly quite an ordinary way, in his mind he would feel as if he were walking on air. While at other times he might feel as if he had penetrated into the interior of the earth. Although Ven. Kheung's mind didn't withdraw from concentration he lacked the wisdom to investigate the Three Characteristics.[163] His powers were therefore only of the mundane sort, arising out of mundane absorption.[164] Let alone Ven. Kheung, just consider Venerable Devadatta[165] who had been able to consult with Prince Ajaatasatthu by flying in through the palace window — that is until his abilities failed.

Therefore, if we encounter the issue, we need to reflect further if is worthwhile for us to continue this samsaric journey further even with another person. We know not of what further lives would bring. Our association with our spiritual partner through countless lives had enabled us to reach the stage we are now, endowed with inclination towards practice.

Ajahn Mun had also consoled his spiritual partner who felt such unspoken sorrow because she felt that Ajahn Mun had deserted her and strove for his own enlightenment. As the result of her state of mind, she was borned in a formless realm. Ajahn Mun had given her advice and as soon as realising her wrong view, she was immediately reborned into the heaven realm as the result of her past good merits. She came down to thank Ajahn Mun.


Source: "The Autobiography of a Forest Monk: Venerable Ajahn Thate of Wat Hin Mark Peng Nongkhai Province", by Venerable Ajahn Thate (Phra Rajanirodharangsee), translated from the Thai by Bhikkhu Ariyesako. Access to Insight, June 7, 2010, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/thate/thateauto.html.

Wat Im at Banglampu- Somdej Phra Buddhacara

If you happen to be visiting Bangkok or around Khao San or Banglampu area, do drop by at Wat Im (sorry, I forgot the full spelling). You can ask any locals around Khao San and they would be able to tell you where Wat Im is located. You will see many people going to pay respect to the Buddha statue here. You can give about 20baht as donation and with that, take a lotus flower, candle, jossticks and gold sticky paper.

Light the candle and jossticks- make your aspiration at the feet of the Buddha. After you placed the lotus flowers, candles and jossticks at their respective places, take the small gold papers and stick them at the feet of the Buddha. This is a way to pay homage to the Buddha- my teacher taught me that it's important to pay respect to the Buddha with sincerity. The Buddha is no longer physically with us but when we pay respect with our hearts, it is as if we are paying respect to him.

Above: The main Buddha statue, also known as Luang Phor Toh (Toh means large in Thai language and a some temples in Thailand with huge Buddha statues named the Buddha statues as Luang Phor Toh) located at the temple grounds. The statue faces east and measures 32 metres in height and 11 metres in width. I was told that a long time ago during the war, someone tried to fire a canon towards the statue- but even though it was ained directly at the Buddha statue, the canon just diverted by itself and dropped into the Chao Phraya river instead.

After paying respect, you can proceed to the meditation hall - it is a 8 angle one story chedi located near a large Bodhi tree (part of the original Sri Maha Bodhi tree in Sri Lanka).

During office hours, the meditation hall (fully air con) is opened for people to go in to meditate. There is continous chanting going on in the hall. I have been to this place a few times to meditate while visiting Bangkok and found that it is really peaceful.

Above: Life sized wax statue of Somdej Phra Buddhacara found in the meditation hall.

You may have noticed pictures of this teacher at many places around Thailand, but if you are not from local, you may not know his life story to fully appreciate the magnitude of this great teacher. He was born in 1776. For more accounts of his life, please read

Legends of Somdet Toh, translated from Thai by Thinassaro Bhikkhu, available at AccesstoInsight.org.

After reading, you will understand why so many people still pay respect to him till this day.

How to get to Wat Pa Baan Taad

The following information is obtained from http://www.luangta.com/resume/map.php (the website is in Thai, but if you install the Google Toolbar, you can translate the site to English)

Refer earlier article How to get to Wat Baan Taad (Luangta's temple)

Note: Please verify the flight, train and bus information prior to booking.

Getting to Wat Pa Ban Tat.
1. Aircraft
- The flight between Bangkok - Udon Thani per day following the third flight.
1) at 6:50 pm
2) at 12.30 am
3) at 18:15 pm

- With flights between Udon Thani - Bangkok 3 per day flight following.
A) at 8:40 pm
2) at 14:25 pm
3) at 20:05 pm

2. Train(Note: Please check with the State Railway of Thailand prior to departure because some of the train are cargo trains and is very uncomfortable- the journey is overnight).
- Between the bus Bangkok - Udon Thani every day from Bangkok Railway Station.Time as follows.
1) at 6:00 pm train speed Bangkok - Nong Khai
2) at 8:20 pm passenger air-conditioned Bangkok - Udon Thani
3) From 18:30 hrs train speed Bangkok - Nong Khai
4) at 20:00 am conditioned passenger Bangkok - Nong Khai
5) Time 20.45 pm express train Bangkok - Nong Khai

- A bus between Udon Thani - Bangkok every day from the train station, Udon Thani
Time as follows.
1) at 7:26 pm Air passenger Khai - Bangkok
2) From 09:15 hrs train speed Khai - Bangkok
3) at 18:35 am conditioned passenger Udon Thani - Bangkok
4) From 19:04 hrs train soon Nong Khai - Bangkok
5) at 20.02 pm express train Nong Khai - Bangkok

3. Coach
- A bus from the North Eastern Tour several companies. Mo Chit bus terminal to Kamphaeng Phet Road, Chatuchak, Bangkok 10900.

Considerations before your ordain without your family's blessings

I thought of sharing a real life story of a nun, relayed firsthand to me for those who consider going for ordination and facing objection from parents.

This nun was kind to share with me her own story, because saw me as the same person she was years ago.

Many readers had mistaken me for a man, or even a monk. I am actually a laywoman.

And I’ve always have the affinity towards temple. I remember the first time years ago I went and stay in a forest monastery as a 8 preceptor, tears went down my eyes as I sat, last along other nuns as we are eating with the monks at the sala hall. And the same thing happened when the monks recited Dhammacakkapavatana sutta (Turning of the Wheel of Dhamma) during evening chanting. I felt my life belonged in the temple- that I had eaten many such meals in my past lives and that I was likely a monk. That feeling of familiarity was unmistakable- when I had to leave the monastery to go back to work, I felt so sad.

That time I was working and felt trapped by the demands of worldly life.

Back to the story of this nun- she came to know the teachings of a particular monk around her twenties. That time she was a laywoman working with the government service. Like me, she spent her holidays and leave in retreats. The teacher sometimes travelled and she had been part of the entourage to different countries (of course she paid for her own expenses).

She wanted to ordain, but her mother repeatedly said no.

At the age of forty, she made a firm decision- she went to work one day and submitted her resignation. It was only much later that she told her family that she had tendered her resignation. Her mom asked why didn’t she consulted her?

I was surprised and told her that if she had just waited, she could opt for early optional retirement (during her time government workers can submit request for early optional retirement as early as age 45- they will not get the full pension, but at least every month, there would be pension paid and they will enjoy medical benefits). She nodded but told me that at that time, she knew about the option but was determined and stubborn. She had been so sure that this is the life for her. She couldn’t wait- so sure was she of her decision that she did not want anyone to sidetrack her of her plans.

She was told her mom that since she is not allowed to ordain, she would just ‘obey’ but she will just stay at home and remain as a white robed 8 preceptor laywoman. She made it know that while her body was there, her heart was in a monastery. She will not look for a job, but will spend time living as a contemplative at home, just that not at the forest.

That time, she had put aside some savings so she was relatively independent and could even make some retreat trips overseas. Her mom was devastated but knew she could do nothing about it.

But she broke her mother’s heart. For about 8 or 9 years, her mom watched her with sad eyes, helpless to do anything. No matter how successful other siblings were, it did nothing much to heal her mom’s broken heart. She ordained shortly after her mother passed away.

As she told me her story, her eyes were red and she was trying to hold back tears.

It has been decades since she is in the robes- but she told me in no uncertain terms that she deeply regretted hurting her mom like this. She realized years later that her mom would have given her permission to ordain, once her mom knew that she is financially secured and that the pension would take care of her. No matter how many children her mom has, her mom still love all of them- even though she has other brothers and sisters, she was still special in her mom’s heart. And because she left with no pension, and her savings is now drying up, she had to still worry about living and medical expenses, since she also now have health problems.

I could see that the guilt and regret had affected her practice…even though her mom had passed away a long time ago. There was no way she was able to make amends and therefore the regret stays with her forever. She told me that she now suffered from joint pains and at times like that, it reminded her of how much she misses her mom deeply. Her mom would have know the right kind of medicine to give her and comforted her.

This nun has been very kind to me- by sharing with me her story at the time when I was tempted to follow her shoes. On the outward, she looks calm and happy and she is always there to help others. But when she saw that I may be heading the same direction as her, she shared…

Like her, I had felt that I belonged to the temple life. In fact, I have spent sometime living in the temples of Thailand after I eventually left my job. I had wished so desperately that my family will understand and accept- and sadly, during that almost one year that I was away, more than half my mom’s previous dark hair had turned white (from the heartbreak that I caused her). My brother told me that the family is too small to be broken down further – there’s only the 3 of us as we do not have close relatives.

My teacher asked me to go back because my family needs me. She said that the time will come, in future as I have strong Dhamma inclination. The fact that my family needs me indicate that the time is not now. I asked her, ‘but many people including yourself had ordained even though they went against their family and in the end, their family had accepted’.

(In fact, my teacher’s life story was that- and her family had grown to accept after 7 years….when her father saw one of the Head District paying respect by bowing down at my teacher. And her father figured that her daughter must have accomplished something to earn that kind of respect. From that day on, her father never asked her to disrobe. )

She told me, “yes, there are those who have ordained despite against their family’s wishes. But I can tell you that if you do it now, your mom will die from heartbreak because of you. Years later, with very deep concentration, you will realize the love your mom had for you and how you shattered her heart. And the guilt will kill you and obstruct your practice. Do you think you can live with the guilt?”

I felt silent and lowered my head. I knew my teacher was right.

I came back and eventually got myself a job- which I took because she called me and asked me to stop sabotaging my interviews (she had knew that I purposely make potential interviewers don’t want to hire me so that I could tell my mom I could not find a job and wanted to go back to Thailand to complete the vassa). This job turns out to be a great blessing- I had to face situations that made me apply the teachings of the Buddha- such as forgiving those who were really mean to me and eventually earning their respect, being patient and overcoming a lot of personal limitations.

Through ongoing practice (my teacher told me that daily mindfulness is important- she said, whenever I remember while doing work or any task, try to chant Buddho, Buddho). With that, I spent more time meditating everyday instead of just that 10 minutes sitting on the cushion.

And I am beginning to realize that indeed I do have a lot of ‘unfinished business’ on this earth to complete.

As my mind calm down, I realized that I had certain abilities that can be put to help a lot of people. I am now putting these abilities to use to benefit other people instead of previously just earning big bucks. My relationship with my family is so much better and closer now- than it ever had been before I had gone to Thailand. In the past, I was so pressured in my previous job that I had so much inner rage and guilt when I constantly lose my temper. Now my temper seemed to be non existent- and I spent a lot of quality time with my mom.

We can discover meaning in life in this lay life. We can realize that inner peace can be found regardless of anywhere we were so long as we put the teachings of Buddha into practice. If we have not sorted out the inner garbage and thinking that the whole world is cruel and want to escape in the monastery, the same problems will resurface. And we may disrupt the peace of others.

Eventually I know my place in future is in the temple- because I felt more at home at a temple than anywhere else. But right now, I have worldly duties to fulfill- and I will fulfill them with a willing heart and at the same time, improve on my practice and others as well. The worldly situation thrown to us daily is actually a good practice and testing point of our Dhamma practice.

Because, like the world outside, staying in monasteries also present similar sets of problems. The world works like this- so long as we have not faced up to a situation and overcome our limitations, the same annoying scenerios will appear again and again. Ever notice that the same problems that causes you to resign from your job presents itself in your current job? The issue could be within us and it requires courage to deal with it.

When in the monastery, dealing with our inner demons become a full time job- and I don't know why a lot of people have the idea that everyone who stay in the forest are escaping from reality....some are, but some aren't.

Dealing with your own self (because a good teacher will make you take accountability and stop blaming others for your misery, discomfort and unhappiness) on an ongoing basis is so much more tougher and difficult. I can tell you that because I've been through that- once the novelty wears off, you are left with the daily grind of self-practice. Those who gone to the monastery to escape the problems of the world or to run away from facing their inner self eventually found that the answer is not in the forest or cemetery. When they could not find the solutions or develop psychic jhanas they leave.....and sometimes blame the monastery for their failed practice.

Because as much as people think that monks and nuns have an easy life- but if you're in it for real, my friend, it's times harder than the real world. But the inner treasures that you bring with you are priceless and worth it that it cannot be bought by all the wealth in the world.

I share my humble personal experience of the above because I know some of you may be in the same shoes. The decision for each one of us may differ according to our own conditionings. When in doubt, pray to Buddha for answers with a sincere heart. With sincere faith, someone, perhaps a teacher or a friend who would come along and offer you just the advice you need or a point of view that you’ve missed out. Keep an open mind and don’t immediately dismiss what other people are saying just because they don’t fit into your way of thinking.

About Luang Phor Kasem Kemako

Susarn Trailaksana (Trailaksana Cementery),

Lampang Province.

A monk exceptionally dedicated to Vipassana Kammatthana (Buddhist insight meditation). Through the principle of contentment and mental control over the body, he attained the final stage of meditation while seated in front of the funeral pyre. He has liberated himself from defilements and he is full of boundless compassion.

(Click on the picture above to read the version in Thai, Mandarin and Japanese language. )

Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen, Bangkok

My apologies, I am not sure how to get to the temple but I know it is not far from Thonburi area. If you would like to visit the temple, you can print the name of the temple above- taxi drivers who can read the Thai writing will likely know how to get there.

Ajahn Lee Dhammadaro's passing away in 1961

Above is a photo of Ajahn Lee's passing away in 1961 at Wat Asokaram. A great teacher was lost on the year. Phra Ajahn Lee was an excellent teacher. His teachings were recording and transcribed into books by his disciples. To read his teachings online, please go to http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/lee/index.html

Note: I got the photo above while visiting Wat Asokaram. I was looking at the list of items being on sale at the floor below the shrine hall when this photo caught my eye. I was looking at it for a long time and wanted to purchase it. A white robe nun was looking after the stall- she gave me the picture.

During the initial tough periods of my life years ago when I was searching for lots of answers to the questions I had, his writings had provided me with a lot of comfort. Books like Handbook for the Relief of Suffering and Inner Strength in which I've printed out from Accesstoinsight when I start owning a computer and a printer and filed it up to be read. If you read with your heart, and not your head, you can appreciate the depth of the teachings- far surpassing a lot of commercial books that are being sold today. The truths are profound, yet told in a simple way using the language of the heart.

I've read so many self help and even psychology books since I was in my teens decades ago before I encountered the teachings of Thai Forest Tradition. Somehow, there is a lack of self of empowerment in conventional psychology and that it seemed that whatever happens in your life is due to external circumstances- your family, your genes, background, teachers, friends, media, etc etc. If one is not careful, one ended up with the 'victim' mentality and feeling helpless. It is only recent years that more and more authors start to write about self-accountability- for so long as we never look within, we can never solve our inner issues.

Still, after years of searching, I find the teachings of the forests Masters to be most effective for me personally. It can be tough- because you don't visualise things that you want or to apply positive thinking like what you read in those books.... instead, your role is to learn to let go your mind's grasp of those things.

When you let go, your heart will be free, light and it does not matter regardless of where you live, or if you have friends or money.

Significance of Magha Puja Day

February 28 (Sunday)- Magha Puja (‘Sangha Day’)- It commemorates the spontaneous gathering of 1250 arahants, to whom the Buddha gave the exhortation on the basis of the discipline (Ovada Patimokkha). It will be a public holiday for Thailand (and some office may take Monday as a replacement day off)

Ovada Patimokkha:

Sabba-pāpassa akaraṇaṃ,
Never doing the least evil,

Kusalassūpasampadā,
In virtue always ready,

Sacitta-pariyodapanaṃ:
Purifying one’s own heart,

Etaṃ buddhāna-sāsanaṃ.
These three are the teachings of the Awakened Ones.

Khantī paramaṃ tapo tītikkhā,
Patient endurance burns up defilments supremely,

Nibbānaṃ paramaṃ vadanti Buddhā,
All Englighten Ones say Nibbana is the Supreme,

na hi pabbajito parūpaghātī
those who destroy life are not the ascetic,

samaṇo hoti paraṃ viheṭhayanto
those who oppress others are not recluse,

anūpavādo anūpaghāto
not speaking evil, not doing harm,

Pāṭimokkhe ca saṃvaro
restraint within the Training Discipline,

mattaññutā ca bhattasmiṃ
knowing moderation in taking food,

pantañca sayan’āsanaṃ.
sleeping and sitting in secluded places,

adhicitte ca āyogo:
devoted in training for higher mentality,

Etaṃ Buddhāna-sāsanam.
These six are the Teachings of the Awakened Ones.

It is a short discourse but with very deep meaning. I chant this sutta almost every morning as part of my morning chanting.

Years ago, I was told by a nun who have underwent tudong (ascetic practice) that during a very difficult time when she was all alone in the forest, she asked the Buddha for guidance. She then heard an authoritative voice, "My teachings are all summarised in Ovadapatimokkha. " She then looked up the sutta and true enough, the answers to the questions that she was searching for was there. Tears came to her eyes.

Note: If you have read Ajahn Maha Boowa's biography, you would have read that devas, and sometimes Arahants who have passed away and even the Buddha come to teach monks and nuns who are practicing deep into the wilds. They appear as human form as it is a form that can be perceived and understood by a human being. Even though it is not logical, it happens to those who have achieved a level of purity in their hearts or have past affinities to be able to perceive them.
The nun also taught me that that we still need to be careful at forms or external knowledge that we are perceiving as the result of our meditation. All messages have to be examined and not to be believed blindly. If we choose to follow these forms, and gaining more ego because we thought we've attained psychic abilities, our practice will suffer. As our mind moves outward to perceive external objects, our mindfulness and concentration will weaken. The best is to direct that powerful skill back into observing our own bodies- the 32 parts of our bodies till we are able to achieve true insight and realization. If we are misled and our egos got bigger, our practice will not progress- instead, it will degenerate. The timely guidance of a good teacher is invaluable at this stage.

Teachers like Ajahn Mun and Luangta had been known to come down hard on students who have attained psychic abilities as a result of intense concentration and jhanas- and use it to perceive heaven, hells, read people's mind, etc. And students who listened to them eventually emerged as great meditation masters. Sadly, most of the first generation of meditation masters who practiced under Ajahn Mun (except Luangta Maha Boowa) have since passed on.

Decades ago, during the early years when he was a monk, Luang Phor Fan used to direct his attention outward but each time he sent his citta outwards, he would see Luang Phor Mun's face looking at him. This happened each time that he was sure that Luang Phor Mun did not seemed to sleep at all. Out of fear of being reprimanded by his teacher, Luang Phor Fan stopped sending his attention outwards- instead, he used his powerful concentration to focus inward by looking at his body and eventually saw through impermance, suffering and non self. Eventually he became a well-known vipassana teacher teaching disciples like Ajahn Suwat Suvaco. Ajahn Suwat taught Ajahn Thinassaro, who made the Thai Forest Tradition teachings known to the English speaking world through his translations.

Translating the teachings of Thai meditation masters is not about the mastery of Thai and English language, but the translations must be done from the heart. Teachers like Ajahn Thinassaro, Ajahn Panna and Ajahn Sumedho are able to capture the essence of the teachings and put it into English language. As the teachings are still available and we are able to experience the teachings of the Masters, let us not delay our practice. Start from wherever we are.... no matter how small, take a step.