Dealing with temple 'politics'

When we are trying to practice in a temple or monastery, we are bound to encounter some friction or issues while staying with other practitioners. Even though rightfully those who chose to stay and practice in the monastery should cultivate attitudes of goodwill (metta), compassion (karuna), symphatetic joy (mudita) and equanimity (upekkha), it is not often the case.

You may find that one or more people do not like you and treat you with ill will. There may not be any help or assistance when you need it. And if the teacher seemed to have a soft spot for you, it may trigger feelings of envy or jealousy.

If you reflect on it, this situation- you can see that it exists everywhere- in your home, office and any environment that you frequently find yourself in.

I used to tell some of my closer friends (who know of my long stay in monastery) that it is so much easier to deal with issues in the corporate world. Dealing with back stabbers, people who play politics, bullies and those who are out to get you. I have no issues dealing with them because if I could lose my cool, raise my voice and exert myself.

But when you stay in a monastery, it is very different- you need to deal with the situation very differently. I like what Ajahn Suchart (who have practiced with Luangta Maha Bua for 9 years at Wat Pa Baan Taad) say in his autobiography (pg 179):

"Nowadays there is confusion in our society because
of the lack of religion in people’s hearts. Religion has its
presence in temples, in various objects, but people do
not embrace religion in their hearts. Their hearts are
filled with defilements and cravings. They go to the
temple to argue or to fight with each other. If you want
to go to the temple, you must go in peace, go with
the intention of not causing problems for others.
The ultimate aims of going to the temple are to practice
Dhamma, to improve oneself through meditation,
and to observe the precepts. Do not pay attention to
other people’s opinions or viewpoints. It is better to
behave like a small mouse, rather than a big lion. A big
lion might get into a fight whereas a small mouse will not
run into a problem. As a result, you will have time to
meditate.'

The book (available online in English and Mandarin) is really a very inspirational book. I learned about Ajahn Suchart through reading his book Mountain Dhamma (the list of his books are available here).

Even though I could act out my emotions when I was working, and at the same time getting a steady paycheck each month, I must say that it really does not make me a happier or better person. I was stressed, constantly live in pressure to maintain my standards and sometimes find myself having to support things that I personally do not agree on but it is for the company's profit bottomline and to make the shareholders happy. You wonder, that is what most people do anyway right? Most people work in jobs that they do not like to earn the paycheck and then they go out and 'console' they heart through indulgences (eg in food and retail therapy) or entertainment. They numb themselves through the array of stimulating entertainment found in TV, Facebook and YouTube. They need not deal with the emotions or unhappiness in them.

In the monastery,  you would meet with valuable mentors who could guide you, as well as some people who you may not see eye to eye with. Rather than acting out on your emotions and leaving, if you have the opportunity and made the choice to stay in the monastery, my sincere advice is to stay on.... to use this as an opportunity to battle your defilements.

If you find yourself being upset, angry or discouraged, then it is time to study your own emotions. After all, we are at the monastery to cultivate and win the battle against our defilements. These defilments have been latent and hidden for possibly aeons and uncountable lifetimes. In a way, you need to be thankful to disagreeable people to help raise the defilements up to the surface so that you can deal with them.

Currently I am staying at a monastery. There is a friend whom have ordained whom I have known for a long time. She was once someone who was not treated fairly and was in fact being 'bullied' by some of her fellow nuns. I've known her for more than 10 years already.

Fast forward 10 years later, with time she has become 'established' due to tenor, knowing the people and language. Those who have bullied her have left, as according to my teacher, a person who does not practice accordingly would not be able to remain at her temple for long.

I was very surprised when I came back to see the change in her. For some reason, I sensed that she did not really like me to be in the temple which shows in the behavior and non verbal cues. She also exerted similar behaviour towards others whom she felt is at fault in something.

It was quite unexpected. And it would have upset or discouraged some people. But for me, I remind myself that I am not here because of her but I am here to follow and learn from the teacher who is competent.

I find the experience as useful because my reaction towards her behaviour helped me to watch over myself and my defilements. Why should anger arise when it is each and every one of our practice.... that we are the owners and only we reap the results of our practice. If we do good and practice, it would be good. Her behaviour also tested my level of ego and attachment- do I get angry and worked up when I was treated rudely? I use it to watch myself.

At the same time, she also become a reminder for me not to be heedless for a longer duration of practice does not mean one would progress or stay the same. If one is not mindful and have wrong views, one would regress in one's practice and it is a real pity. Such type of persons used to drive me nuts and get me very worked up but having been through quite a lot in life over these past years, it has really build in the resilience and patience.

When I was previously in the corporate world, I had some talented colleagues who were being bullied, sometimes being almost managed out at work. I know them and their work.... they are competent and hardworking. But I know because of their work ability, they made their bosses and some co workers feel insecure. I spent hours consoling them... not to give up and that it is very stupid to give up and resign just because of people with bad intention who by right are not worth for you to pay such a high price for. And they have financial commitments and bills to pay- hence if they go without a job and cannot find another job, they would be in dire financial straits.

I told them that I saw it as an opportunity for them for personal growth to develop real leadership. One of the qualities of being a leader is endurance and to be able to relate to any type of personality.  And 'bad people' come to your help to 'teach' you how to develop these qualities.

No books or talks can each you effectively and can embed the understanding in your heart as good as direct experience. Yes, it can be very tough to face it but you would gain something valuable if you stay on and find skillful means to face it.

For my friends who are able to pass through it, they would be successful. To endure, not to react when being triggered (because it is just what these people are hoping for), to detach from them and focus on the job and task at hand.

But if they give up, run away to another job, they most probably would find the problem coming to back to haunt them....at a greater scale and at a less favourable environment (since at a new company one have to learn new things whereas at the existing company, one is already knowledgable about the work).

It is the same for me at the monastery where I am staying now because in any place where there are people, they would be friction. I focus on my practice and do not get worked up with others attitudes because I understand that good or bad, we are the heir of our own deeds. The scale of the issues I am encountering is much lesser than 10 years ago... perhaps because I have changed and the challenges in life (which many I have chose to face instead of running away from) have helped me build the detachment, understanding and patience.

Time in a monastery is very precious to practice....because we do not know how long we have. Like in the case of my friend who stayed in the monastery for a decade and have changed, it is a reminder for me not to lapse in my practice. Avoid talking or mingling too much as it would mess with our mind and the mindfulness that we are trying to cultivate.

I noticed it is where the starting point of many who have regressed in practice.... either starting to spend too much time on the internet and neglecting meditation/chanting, and/or talking with others over frivolous matter.

Greetings again

Hi...I hope you all have been well.

I know it has been years since I have posted. So sorry as there were many things that happened in the span of these few years. However, I have not abandoned my practice, in fact, through the help of an excellent teacher I have managed to incorporate into my daily life.

In 2002, after reading the Spiritual Autobiography of Ajahn Mun that had changed my life, it took me 2 years before I was able to find my way to Wat Pa Baan Taad in Udon Thani to meet Luangta Maha Boowa who was Ajahn Mun's disciple. 

Like many who first meet the teacher and filled with awe, what happens after the worship period is over? We would then go back to the reality of our own practice ....and for some people get stuck. No doubt, when you first discover and get inspired by a great teacher...and you come all starry eye but would discover that the real practice is not as easy as it was supposed to be.

When staying in Luangta's temple in 2007, I met a lady from came from an European country.

She had wanted very much to experience the life of tudong. She got the chance to experience it through the help of a nun who have previously undergone the practice. However, by the 3rd day, she had more or less given up. Apparently, the tudong lifestyle was totally not what she had imaged- it is not walking to enjoy beautiful scenery and see animals like elephants roaming around. But in reality, you had to go light and carry limited supplies, and depend on the kindness of villagers for pindapat.

She had to walk long distance carrying her backpack. Beginning she was worried there would not be enough food and drink hence she loaded a lot of stuff in her backpack and needless to say had a tough time carrying it. The weather was in December and they were hiking around Mae Hong Son so the weather was freezing cold. The main food was based on what that were received during almsround.

Basically by the 3rd day she had more or less given up. It was a pity because had she held on longer, she would have a better understanding and insight.

Over the years, similar to what happened to the lady also happened to me. Well not literally going for tudong.

During the beginning after the 'honeymoon' aka period of awe is over, we are back into reality of the practice. And it is no fairy tale. It takes the guidance of a good teacher to be able to help us along and drag us up from the depths of hopelessness.

It also depend on us to continue to fight and to be willing to receive the help of our teacher.

Over these years, I've struggled to integrate the Dhamma in my daily lay life, to apply to work and family. I do not wish to be a hypocrite, ie someone who only could talk but not walk the talk. Fortunately with the guidance of a good teacher that I have met, I am able to continue on and ask questions when I am in doubt.

It has been quite a roller coaster journey of ups and downs. Now, I am more aware of the route that I would be taking in the future. In time to come, I shall write about it.

Take care and do not give up in the Dhamma. It is truly wonderful- during the beginning it can become a struggle and you would feel you are swimming upstream. If you have not found someone who could guide you, make the aspiration in front of the Buddha that may you find a good teacher who could point you to the true path of the Dhamma.

Recorded talks of Ajahn Fan Acaro (in Thai)

Different web page spells Ajahn Fun's name in English differently: Some spell as Luang Pho or Luang Phor Fan, Fann or Funn.

But this website contains the recorded talks delivered by Ajahn Funn Ajaro หลวงปู่ฝั้น อาจาโร  in Thai language.

These talks were delivered in the 1970s, prior to his passing away in 1977.

http://www.dhammathai.org/sounds/phun.php

If you wish to search for his photos, you may use the search word หลวงปู่ฝั้น อาจาโร .
Ajahn Fan only have a Wikipedia page in Thai language: http://th.wikipedia.org/wiki/หลวงปู่ฝั้น_อาจาโร and if you choose the Google Translate, the translation is totally out.

Really wish that the teachings of this great teacher can be translated in English. If my Thai is proficient enough I would be glad to translate- but my understanding of the language is only very basic.

According to Ajahn Sumedho in his book "Now is the knowing"
http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/now_know.pdf, it is mentioned as follows (in page 6):

When I used to travel around the North-East of Thailand on tudong I liked to go and stay at the monastery of Ajahn Fun. Ajahn Fun was a much-loved and deeply respected monk, the teacher of the Royal Family, and he was so popular that he was constantly receiving guests. I would sit at his kuti [hut] and hear him give the most amazing kind of Dhamma talks, all on the subject of 'Buddho'- as far as I could see, it was all that he taught. He could make it into a really profound meditation, whether for an illiterate farmer or an elegant, western-educated Thai aristocrat. The main part of his teaching was to not just mechanically repeat 'Buddho', but to reflect and investigate, to awaken the mind to really look into the 'Buddho', 'the one who knows' really investigate its beginning, its end, above and below,
so that one's whole attention was stuck onto it. When one did that, 'Buddho' became something that echoed through the mind. One would investigate it, look at it, examine it before it was said and after it was said, and eventually one would start listeniing to it and hear beyond the sound, until one heard the silence. 

Teachings of Ajahn Suwat

Came across this page in http://forestmeditation.com/teachings/teachings.html#suwat . He is the student of Ajahn Fan Acaro (หลวงปู่ฝั้น อาจาโร).

Phra Ajaan Suwat Suvaco (1919-2002)
Born on August 29, 1919, Ajaan Suwat ordained at the age of 20 and became a student of Ajaan Funn Acaro two or three years later. He also studied briefly with Ajaan Mun. Following Ajaan Funn's death in 1977, Ajaan Suwat stayed on at the monastery to supervise his teacher's royal funeral and the construction of a monument and museum in Ajaan Funn's honor. In the 1980's Ajaan Suwat came to the United States, where he established four monasteries: one near Seattle, Washington; two near Los Angeles; and one in the hills of San Diego County (Metta Forest Monastery). He returned to Thailand in 1996, and died in Buriram on April 5, 2002 after a long illness.

• Blatantly Clear in the Heart, by Ajaan Suwat Suvaco
  A short talk on the development of virtue, concentration, and discernment. Keep practicing until these qualities become clear in your own heart!
• To Comprehend Suffering, by Ajaan Suwat Suvaco
  Meditation isn't about "getting" things; it's about letting go. We can't let go of the darkness and delusion in our minds; it has to be dispersed by light -- the light of clear-seeing discernment that we cultivate through meditation.
• Disenchantment, by Ajaan Suwat Suvaco
  A talk given at the start of a meditation session, in which Ajaan Suwat explains how to strenghten mindfulness and develop the disenchantment needed for discernment to arise. An excellent introduction to the contemplation of the 32 parts of the body.
• A Fistful of Sand, by Ajaan Suwat Suvaco
  These Dhamma talks and question-and-answer sessions were recorded during a two-week meditation retreat he taught at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts in 1990. This event marked a rare opportunity for an elder Thai ajaan to speak directly to Westerners in their home environment. With a disarming ease and clarity, Ajaan Suwat here illuminates a number of vital points of Dhamma that will help the reader develop the proper attitude towards the practice of meditation.
• The Strategy of a Peaceful Mind, by Ajaan Suwat Suvaco
  Viewing peace of mind as a skillful strategy helps the meditator settle the mind down into concentration. But its uses also extend to more advanced stages of meditation, by helping one disengage from all involvement with the aggregates, thereby bringing the meditator to the threshold of Awakening. In this remarkable talk Ajaan Suwat weaves together teachings for beginning and advanced meditators, alike.

Booklet in Thai distributed during Luangta Maha Bua's funeral

Herein is the booklet copy  written in Thai language. It was distributed during Luangta's funeral. The copy below which I received were reprinted through the generous donations:

The translated book that was published during Luangta's funeral

Dear all,

Sorry for not posting for a long time (a year exactly).

I was fortunate to have received a physical copy of the English translation of book "Paying Our Last Respects", the book published in commemoration of Venerable Ajahn Maha Boowa's funeral.

The book is published by Forest Dhamma of Wat Pa Baan Taad. I tried to search for the online pdf copy but found the links to that ebook was not working. Therefore, I thought of scanning and then converting into editable text to upload to this site- for the benefit of everyone.

There are many books and publications written based on transcribed teachings of Luangta- but in Thai language. This book was one of the transcribed from the Thai version and contains a lot of content that was previously unavailable. I find this book to be very meaningful and it gave insight to the life of Luangta and on how he had met Ajahn Mun.

The book is about 178 pages long. I would do the scanning and posting the words in stages.

So far, the completed sections are:

• Cover and photos of the first few pages of the book
• Introduction (written by Bhikkhu Martin)
• A Biography of Luangta Maha Bua Nanasampanno

Articles on Luang Phor Fan

Even though I have not known Luang Phor Fan หลวงปู่ฝั้น อาจาโร (of Sakon Nakhon) who had passed away in 1977, I have been deeply impressed by him.
Herein are resources I've obtained from other blogs that contained information on Ajahn Fan Ajaro which all currently all in Thai language except for the 1st link:

• Ajahn Fan Ajaro from Isaan Life- it is hard to find translations of his life in English and was glad this site had provided the information.


• Ajahn Fan in Wikipedia Thai- using the google English translate page (not accurate)


• Life History of Luang Phor Fan in Thai


• Facebook page (in Thai language)

Videos

• Video of Luang Phor Fan about his background


• List of audio recordings in Dhammathai.org (in Thai)


• The funeral

10 Series of Documentary on Luang Phor Fan (in Thai language) in YouTube:

• Part 1


• Part 2


• Part 3


• Part 4


• Part 5


• Part 6


• Part 7


• Part 8


• Part 9


• Part 10

An article about Luangta Maha Bua's early life

Recently I came across an article about the early life of Luangta Maha Bua. The following is an excerpt of the article that mentioned about Luangta's early life:

Luangta Maha Boowa, the abbot of Wan Pa Baan Taad in Udon Thani’s Muang district, came into the limelight when he initiated a fund-raising campaign to help the country recover from the effects of the 1997 financial crisis.

As of Jan 9 last year, he had handed over 967 gold bars weigh­ing 12 tonnes and US$10.2mil in cash to the Bank of Thailand. “When the economic crisis hit in 1997, I stepped in to help lift the nation from the depths of darkness, that is, from greed on one level of society and from poverty on the other. I wanted Thais to focus on the causes of the crisis so that, by knowing the causes, they could change their behaviour to prevent such an event from recurring. So I used the Help the Nation campaign not only to raise gold for the national treasury, but more importantly as a means to spread Buddha’s teachings to a broader section of Thai society in an age when many Thai people are losing touch with Buddhist principles,” said Luangta Maha Boowa in the booklet, Samana – Maha Boowa Memorial Book, which was distributed after his death.

Luangta Maha Boowa was born on Aug 12, 1913, as Bua Lohitdee to a wealthy farming family. He said he was told by his mother that of the 16 babies she had carried in her womb, he was the one who gave her the most to worry about. “I was either so still in her womb that she thought I must have died, or I was kicking so hard she thought I must have been on the verge of death.

The closer to my birth, the worse those extremes became. Just before I was born, my mother and my father each had an auspicious dream. My father dreamt that he had received a very sharp knife, pointed at the tip with an elephant tusk handle and encased in a silver sheath. My father felt very pleased.

“My mother, on the other hand, dreamed that she had received a pair of gold earrings which were so lovely that she couldn’t resist the temptation to put them on and admire herself in the mirror. The more she looked, the more they impressed her.”

He said his grandfather interpreted the two dreams to mean that the course of his life would follow one of two extremes. “If I chose the way of evil, I would be the most feared criminal of my time. My character would be so fearsome that I was bound to end up being an infamous crime boss who’d never allow himself to be captured alive and imprisoned, but would hide in the jungle and fight the authorities to the death.

“At the other extreme, if I chose the way of virtue, my goodness would be unequalled,” he said in the memorial book. He became a monk at the age of 21 and was a student of Luangpu Man Phurithatto, one of the most renowned Buddhist meditation masters in Thailand’s Buddhism of the Forest Tradition. His followers believe that he was an arahant, a living Buddhist saint.

It is well-known that Luangta Maha Boowa would always go without food as he said it helped with his meditation.

His thousands of disciples and followers see him as a diminutive, simple and humble monk who did not seek personal gain. To them Luangta Maha Boowa was also an arahant – one who has perfected wisdom and compassion like Bud­­dha and is no longer subject to rebirth.

In the memorial book, Luanga Maha Boowa said he had tried his utmost to help society: “Within my heart, I have no sense of courage and no sense of fear; no such thing as gain or loss, victory or defeat. My attempts to assist people stem entirely from loving compassion. I sacrificed everything to attain the Supreme Dhamma that I now teach. I nearly lost my life in search of Dhamma, crossing the threshold of death before I could proclaim to the world the Dhamma that I realised. Sometimes I talk boldly, as if I were a conquering hero. But the Supreme Dhamma in my heart is neither bold nor fearful. It has neither gain nor loss, neither victory nor defeat. Consequently, my teaching eman­ates from the purest form of com­­passion.”

Luangta Maha Boowa forbade his followers from spending extravagantly at his funeral. In the interview with Nanfa – The Tiger Temple Magazine (produced by Wat Pa Luangta Bua Yannasampanno Tiger Temple, Kanchanaburi Province) in 2009, he said he did not want gifts donated to him for merit while his body was in a casket.

To read the full article, please go to The Star Online> Thai monk revered in life, remembered in death by Foong Thim Leng

Luangta- through the years

Here is a photo taken of a banner showing Luangta Maha Bua through the years. You can click to enlarge the picture.

Luangta Maha Boowa Passed Away on 30 January 2011

It is with great sadness to inform that Luangta Maha Boowa (or known as Luangta Maha Bua) passed away today on 30 January 2011 at the age of 97.


Luangta Maha Boowa was one of the last surviving disciple of Acariya Mun (who passed away in 1949).

Today, it rained the entire day without stop at the area where I am staying- as if the skys are crying over the loss of this great Teacher.

The photos below are taken by me during my visit to Wat Pa Baan Taad:
Below: 11 August 2007- on the eve of his 94th birthday, he gave a short talk to those who were present:

Below: On 12 August 2007, Luangta's birthday:

On 17 Oct 2008- Kathina ceremony:

Luangta was travelling on the golf cart because he could not walk well.

It remains now that the most important is for us to practice and apply his teachings to heart. He had dedicated decades of his life towards teaching us with the best of his ability. My life changed afer discovering his teachings and I am grateful that I had the chance to meet him while he was alive.

Let us all not forsake our practice- one of the best way we can do to honor the Buddha and our teacher is to practice the teachings in our daily live, every moment in our day-to-day life, regardless of what we do.

We do not need wait or plan for some time in future to practice. What's the point of practicing in future if we cannot even do it now. Regardless of whether we are working, studying, retired....living at home or in the monastery, we can still put the teachings to practice day by day. Have mindfulness (sati) and don't let other things intrude into our hearts. Find time to do meditation and chanting- there is no need to 'plan' and do it only at retreats. And in our walking moments, be mindful of our thoughts, words and deeds. Need not go out to search for flaws of others or analyze external things. Deep within each and every one of our hearts, there lies deep immense wisdom that can only be realised in the quiet stillness of the mind.

A Great Teacher has very sadly left us- and while his memories still linger fresh in our minds, let us all make the firm determination to start and continue our path, little by little and day by day. Time wait for no ones and one day, the law of anicca would come. In this lifetime, we have been very blessed and fortunate to come in contact with the teachings of this Great Teacher.

Let us pay our humblest tribute to him through not forsaking our daily practice.

About Luang Phor Desaka

Phra Nirdoha Rangsi Kambhira Pannacara (Luang Phor Desaka)

Wat Hin Mark Peng, Sri Chiengmai District, Nongkhai Province

Ordained as a novice at sixteen and as a monk at the age of twenty two. A disciple of Phra Acharn Mun Bhuridatto, he resided in all major regions of the country. At present, he resides at Wat Hin Mark Peng, Nongkhai Province.

(Click on the picture above to read the version in Thai, Mandarin and Japanese language. )

About Luang Phor Sook

Wat Pak Klong Makham ThaoWat Singh District,

Chainat Province.

Born in the reign of His majesty King Rama IV. Ordained at the age of twenty. He was revered as having great spiritual power and was the royal teacher of H.R.H Krom Luang Choomporn Khet Udomsak. He passed away from old age in B.E 2460 (1917 A.D)

(Click on the picture above to read the version in Thai, Mandarin and Japanese language. )

Why ignorance can hurt you

It worries me when I read that there are groups of people, including ordained monks and nuns who openly accused Luangta of being a political monk. I am not worried for Luangta but worry for the person in question who openly said such thing. They are usually involved in the scholarly aspects of the Buddhist teachings and because what Luangta does apparently does not ‘fit in’ to what the scriptures had taught, Luangta is given all sorts of label.

I will offer the same advice as what my teacher had told me when I was judging and criticizing others- look within yourself first. Check your own practice- it is very important. And you will never know what verbal kamma you commit if you really ended up criticizing a real Arahant….so don’t take any chances. Better to devote the energy to watch our practice instead of looking around for faults in others. And becareful to accept and agree to second hand judgment by others. Come and see for yourself instead of believing what other people say.

Here, I want to share with you my real personal experience. Please note I am not trying to judge anybody here but I just want to show you that with just a little mistake I’ve done due to ignorance, I’ve spent years paying the price.

Years ago, before I learned about Thai Forest Tradition, I was helping out in hosting a speaker from Thailand. That time, she started lobbying to allow woman to ordain as fully precepted female monk instead of the current 8 or 10 precept ubasika. As a learned scholar and very educated woman when she was a layperson, she could quote from the suttas and commentaries to justify why female ordination should continue. What she said seemed logical- and I had not learned about Thai Forest Tradition first hand.

She said some negative things about senior monks in Thailand (even though I don’t remember that she had mentioned him, but I know that Luangta was one of those senior monks who had disapproved of the movement). And she also had a theory that Maha Kasappa (senior disciple of the Buddha) was actually anti-woman and according to her, history had shown that some monks do not want to help out women (later I was told that Maha Kasappa was actually a very compassionate elder and was never anti women).

All I did was to arrange for an interview and transcribed her talk (I was not really credited in the transcribe- my friend was supposed to do it but she was too busy so I helped out). That was all I did. And after that, I forgotten about the incident.

Then about few years later, I came to know the Thai Forest Tradition via Luangta Maha Boowa’s book. When I first read the book, I knew it was what I was looking for all this while. I made the determination and aspiration to go to Thailand.

My journey and my practice had been difficult. About a week before I was about to go to Wat Pa Baan Taad in Udon Thani, I dreamt that I opened the door to a monastery and saw a lot of very old monks. But in my heart, I knew that Luangta was not there. I was greatly disappointed in my dream…

When I was finally there- true to my dream, he was not there. But as I stepped foot into his monastery, I knew intuitively that when I come back the second time, I will be able to see him. I did, and as I have mentioned before, the first time I saw him in the sala hall having his morning meal, I just knew that all the effort and hardship to make the second trip had been worth it.

My self practice in the monastery was also fraught with a lot of obstacles- first, being my health was no good and I was very very tired all the time. I was determined to come back and worked hard to improve my health. There are a number of other things as well, so much obstacles that made me on the verge of giving up….but each time, I find the strength to preserve.

And even that, I also had a lot of obstacles- my practice was stuck for a long time and I was not seeing results. One day, as I sat meditating and asking why the path had been so tough for me, the memory of the talk which I transcribed for the female Thevaradian monk came back. I knew instinctively that even though I had committed the kamma of first agreeing with her, and then transcribing the talk which eventually was made available in many forms of media--- even out of ignorance, I still paid the price.

The thing is that because when I read about the teachings of Ajahn Mun, I knew with certainty that this is the path for me. Had I just approached and interpreted Buddhism from a scholarly perspective, I would have given up.

But the first time I read about Luangta’s teachings, it seemed that his words spoke straight to my heart. You know, language of the heart really does exist- it is not made up by him. The contents written in the spiritual biography seemed not to make sense if you don’t really meditate- but through personal experience, I know that his teachings were true. If you have not experienced them for yourself, you can never begin to comprehend. And we should not judge things that we don’t comprehend- because we don’t want to be paying the price later on when the second hand information we have obtained and chose to believe in turns out to be wrong.

Yes, there good as well as ordained monks/nuns who’ve obviously broken the Vinaya and even appear in the news. When that happens, these news will be reported worldwide and it brings a bad name to Buddhism. If you look around, breaking monastic codes also appeared in other religions.

Everyone is a human and sometimes, people lose even though they go into the religion with the best of intention at first. Some monks and nuns who know that they could not abide by monastic rules due to certain personal issues would choose to disrobe. In Thailand, it is acceptable to disrobe because it’s better to disrobe than to remain in the robes and knowingly break the Vinaya. If a scandal arose, the kammic consequences are heavy- and the person in question will have to answer for his/her own kamma. It is their business….we really should not get involved.

Renunciation vs Relationships

Often, people enter the path of practice with sincerity and determination to transcend dukkha and thus leaving this cycle of rebirth. Thus one ordain and eventually through perserverance, faith and determination, one achieved peace and concentration through consistent meditation and ascetic practices.



In this article, I wish to address the issue of attraction towards the opposite sex- because this is a real challenge towards practice. Even years of practice with strong concentration (jhanic and even psychic powers), one can still find it difficult to overcome feelings of lust and attraction (kamaraga) especially if one is again reunited with one's long time spiritual partner.



Many people do have their own spiritual partners- usually someone who have practiced with us through many lifetimes. Often, we would live with that person as husband and wife in many lifetime. Even the Buddha and Ajahn Mun had their respective spiritual partners where they have gone through the trials and tribulations of the path till one realise the path of Arahantship.



It is not surprising that due to the joint kamma and determination made together through many lifetime, we can easily meet our spiritual partner again in our lives striving as a monk or nun. When one meet one's long time spiritual partner, the strong bond and attraction held through many lifetimes become very hard to break. The kammic bond of reuniting with one's long time spiritual partner is very different from the usual association with laypeople- of which is not much of an issue to a seasoned practioner who follows the Vinaya and applying asubha practices. And usually, the monk or nun who have been adept at meditation practice will recognize his /her own spiritual partner when it comes to meeting back with the person.



I have seen a few cases whereby monks (some well known) who have been practicing for decades, and teaching laypeople and meditation for years get stuck when they are presented with this challenge. Often, this issue is not really addressed openly even among the monastic community and therefore the practioner who is encountering this issue finds it hard to deal with because it is a totally new level.

In this article, I have compiled some sources relating to advice by past Ajahns on this issue.

The late Ajahn Thate spoke of this issue in depth in his autobiography- where he himself even after years of practice, realised through his meditation of his long time spiritual partner- and how he realised the danger towards one's practice when one is not skillful enough to deal with this situation:

22.2 The Latent Tendencies and Defilements of the Heart (chapter 22.2 of his autobiography):

During this period, when I was fearlessly pressing forward with my practice, something disagreeable came up as a meditation vision. It's something that should be revealed to my readers so that some of the shameful tendencies of the defilements can be exposed. Recognition of the harm of this type of defilement might then perhaps serve as a caution for their future restraint.

The image that appeared was that of a middle-aged woman, someone whom I well remembered from about five or six years previously. She had then been a lay supporter of mine, full of faith and sincere intentions. I considered her a good person, a person of Dhamma, courteous and refined, someone suitable for me to be associated with and a fine example of a genuine upaasikaa[152] of the Buddhist Teachings. Her physical appearance was rather ordinary, or so it seemed to me. Apart from that, I had never given her much thought except recalling her kind support to me as a monk — for a monk lives dependent on others.

When the image appeared in my meditation, she seemed to be sitting close to me on my right, in a rather familiar way. There then arose in my heart a spontaneous feeling as if the two of us had been living closely together for what seemed like decades. Yet there was no lust or desire involved in it. This shocked me. I withdrew from meditation and examined my heart but I couldn't detect any feelings of attachment towards her. Furthermore, I hadn't given her a moment's thought over the previous five or six years. Why then should I have such a vision?

After a more thorough investigation, I came to understand the nature of the latent defilement of sensuality (kaama-kilesaanusaya). This lies deeply submerged in the 'ocean bed', beyond the reach and understanding of the negligent person.

— A person possessing wisdom but lacking faith, energy and dauntless perseverance, will be incapable of searching out and confronting it.
— A person possessing faith, energy, and dauntless perseverance but lacking wisdom, will still be incapable of eliminating it.
— A person possessing faith, energy and dauntless perseverance together with wisdom; and someone who develops meditation by steadily cultivating those virtuous qualities without lapses will be able totally to eliminate the latent tendencies.

I then proceeded to reflect further about those meditators who had successfully achieved all the absorptions[153] yet could still be deceived and fall down badly because of the defilements of sensuality and lust. They take the sort of vision that I
have just mentioned as genuine, as truly signifying that they had been husband
and wife in a previous life.[154] This leads to the arising of tenderness and affection,
sexual excitement and desire that develop as is their wont into the searching
out of that 'vision'. There is then a meeting and a frank telling of what should
not be revealed. The twin live wires already run side by side and if some metal
object comes too close it has to be attracted and pulled in. They make contact
and that is why it's possible for so many meditators, particularly monks —
sometimes they have even been senior Teachers — to fall into the abyss. On
seeing such a vision, instead of being alarmed and seeing it as a threat and
danger — and therefore arming themselves for victory over it — they submit and
ally themselves with it. What a waste!

The Lord Buddha recounted how human beings and animals born into this world, one and all, have been mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, husbands and wives. they have all been relatives to one another — in one or another birth. Perhaps even the poultry and pork that we eat might be the flesh of our father or mother from a previous birth. We still have defilements and so are liable to die and take birth, to die and be born through countless lives. Yet what sort of case is it when a seductive
vision arises just once, and one is lured away and goes after it.

Well, now that we have already exposed and shamed Maara,[155] the defilements, I would like to relate another instance.
This concerns an attractive young woman. She and her parents and relatives held
me in deep regard and I tried to help by advising and instructing her in
morality and virtue. I particularly wanted her to see the hazard inherent in the
feminine condition and to keep to the brahmacariya precepts all her life. Yet
events didn't turn out that way for instead she went and lost her virginity in a
very unfortunate way. When she came to her senses, she was overwhelmed by
tearful remorse. I happened to hear about this and felt a deep weariness with
all such gullibility and credulousness. Afterwards, she both respected me and
felt ashamed before me. All I could think of was: 'how could things have come to
this pass?'. Looking at her, I felt that although her form might appear human,
her mind-state was that of an animal. The more I thought about it, the more it
made me feel sick and tired about her and the whole matter — almost to the point
of nausea. This state of mind persisted for many years afterwards and that
nauseous feeling would arise whenever I recalled the incident. There was such a
strong feeling of weariness — I had never felt anything quite so deeply before —
yet it certainly was not the correct way of practice. However, that had all
happened in the past.

Afterwards, I came to reflect on the harm of sensuality, pondering the extent of its fierce severity. When it arises in the underlying personality of anyone it can vent its power and devour its victim.
This may happen regardless of whether the person has moral principles or is
delinquent, or whether they are seasoned meditators who have reached the highest
levels of absorption. The only exceptions being the Lord Buddha and the
arahants. Sensuality is totally lacking kindness or consideration, being like a
tiger pouncing on a defenceless puppy and cold-bloodedly consuming it.
This made me feel a lot more sensitive and open towards that young woman. She had
always had wholesome intentions, had hoped to be good yet passion can be so very
destructive. It pounces without caring whom its victim is. It is this sensual
desire that must bear so much of the blame and is unforgivable. This increased
my sympathy and compassion for her.
Those who are still sunk in the depths of the flood of sensual desires must come to birth in the sensual realm. This sensual realm or sphere is a place to develop spiritual virtues.[156] For those who want to progress in the way of the heart it
is the field of battle where one can fight for victory. While for miscreants, it
can become their graveyard.
The sensual realm or plane of existence is endowed with a full complement of natural resources, and all the outer and the inner ones are complete. Persons of wisdom can take advantage of this in whatever way they want. If there are no trees in the forest, where will one go to find herbal medicines? If there are no doctors then such medicines remain useless. If there are medicine and doctor, but the sick patient refuses treatment or will not take the prescription, they cannot cure their
illness.
Those who see any 'worth'[157] in the sphere of sensuality and engross themselves in its
array of sensual delights are called 'worthies of sensuality'.[158] Those whom the poison of sensuality has infected and are
aware of its virulence are called 'handicapped by sensuality' (Kaama-tote).
Those who have totally relinquished all sensuality are called 'freed from
sensuality'.[159]

Ajahn Thate also mentioned that another monk, who was endowed with psychic abilities and could read the mind of others was also challenged in this sense- and therefore he taught that even with strong samadhi (meditative concentration), when one lacked wisdom (panna) in understanding the body and the three characteristics (anicca, dukkha, anatta), one would not be able to transcend this obstacle which would either make or break one's practice:


Chapter 23: 23. Fifteenth Rains Retreat, 1937 Bahn Pong in Maer Dtaeng District

After staying to receive teachings from Ven. Ajahn Mun for a suitable length of
time, Venerable Kheung and I took our leave to go off in search of solitude and
secluded places by following the Maer Dtaeng River upstream. We stayed in a
secluded spot near a mountain area of tea plantations. I left Venerable Kheung
to watch over our belongings in an abandoned monastery at the foot of the
mountain, while I climbed the ridge to find a suitable place to stay above. It
happened that a young woman came strolling by flirting with some local young
men. Venerable Kheung saw this and he too became intensely excited. When I came
back down from my place on the mountain and saw the state he was in I tried to
counsel him and recommended various ways he could use to still the emotion — but
without success.

I had had an intimation of such a possibility ever since he had first come to stay with me. At that time, he had told me about a vision that he had experienced while staying with Ven. Ajahn Mun in Maer Suay District. He said that hearing about me had inspired him so much that he wished to meet me.
He had then had a vision:
'A road appeared that led straight from him to
where I was. He made a trouble-free journey along the road that ended right at
the foot of the stairs leading to my hut. He then seemed to catch hold of the
stairs and started climbing — they seemed extremely high — up to me. After
bowing to me three times, I offered him a complete set of robes but he refused
to accept them.'

It seemed that circumstances were beginning to fit in with his vision. I also felt as if our sympathetic association had reached its limit.
That morning during the meal, he had lost his temper with me over some
insignificant issue. By the evening, he had come to see me and admitted his
fault. He related his experience of the previous evening when lust had overcome
him at seeing the flirtatious young woman. His meditation throughout the
following night had not been successful and he came to take his leave and go off
wandering alone.

About three months later, we met again and I encouraged him to make a fresh start with his meditation: "If you have enough determination, it's still possible for you to succeed. Please, just have done with it and start afresh".
Nevertheless, he wouldn't accept this advice and afterwards I
learned with great regret that he had disrobed. He was a strong-willed
individual and did nothing in half measures, but he was also very opinionated
and even Ven. Ajahn Mun's Dhamma talks didn't always convince him. He had once
been a 'tough guy' back in his home village before ordaining and leaving without
any real goal in mind. He originally came from Nam Gam Village in the district
of Taht Panom.
The Six Higher Psychic Powers[162] — one example being 'knowing the minds of other beings' —
are not something common to every person. They will not necessarily arise in the
practice of everyone who meditates. With some people no matter how refined their
mind becomes no higher powers will arise. While other people meditate and when
the mind converges into momentary or access concentration (kha.nika- or
upacaara-samaadhi) these powers develop.
Venerable Kheung was adept at training his mind to enter tranquillity and he could remain in such a calm state all day and night. While walking around in seemingly quite an ordinary way, in his mind he would feel as if he were walking on air. While at other times he might feel as if he had penetrated into the interior of the earth. Although Ven. Kheung's mind didn't withdraw from concentration he lacked the wisdom to investigate the Three Characteristics.[163] His powers were therefore only of the mundane sort, arising out of mundane absorption.[164] Let alone Ven. Kheung, just consider Venerable Devadatta[165] who had been able to consult with Prince Ajaatasatthu by flying in through the palace window — that is until his abilities failed.

Therefore, if we encounter the issue, we need to reflect further if is worthwhile for us to continue this samsaric journey further even with another person. We know not of what further lives would bring. Our association with our spiritual partner through countless lives had enabled us to reach the stage we are now, endowed with inclination towards practice.

Ajahn Mun had also consoled his spiritual partner who felt such unspoken sorrow because she felt that Ajahn Mun had deserted her and strove for his own enlightenment. As the result of her state of mind, she was borned in a formless realm. Ajahn Mun had given her advice and as soon as realising her wrong view, she was immediately reborned into the heaven realm as the result of her past good merits. She came down to thank Ajahn Mun.


Source: "The Autobiography of a Forest Monk: Venerable Ajahn Thate of Wat Hin Mark Peng Nongkhai Province", by Venerable Ajahn Thate (Phra Rajanirodharangsee), translated from the Thai by Bhikkhu Ariyesako. Access to Insight, June 7, 2010, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/thate/thateauto.html.

Wat Im at Banglampu- Somdej Phra Buddhacara

If you happen to be visiting Bangkok or around Khao San or Banglampu area, do drop by at Wat Im (sorry, I forgot the full spelling). You can ask any locals around Khao San and they would be able to tell you where Wat Im is located. You will see many people going to pay respect to the Buddha statue here. You can give about 20baht as donation and with that, take a lotus flower, candle, jossticks and gold sticky paper.

Light the candle and jossticks- make your aspiration at the feet of the Buddha. After you placed the lotus flowers, candles and jossticks at their respective places, take the small gold papers and stick them at the feet of the Buddha. This is a way to pay homage to the Buddha- my teacher taught me that it's important to pay respect to the Buddha with sincerity. The Buddha is no longer physically with us but when we pay respect with our hearts, it is as if we are paying respect to him.

Above: The main Buddha statue, also known as Luang Phor Toh (Toh means large in Thai language and a some temples in Thailand with huge Buddha statues named the Buddha statues as Luang Phor Toh) located at the temple grounds. The statue faces east and measures 32 metres in height and 11 metres in width. I was told that a long time ago during the war, someone tried to fire a canon towards the statue- but even though it was ained directly at the Buddha statue, the canon just diverted by itself and dropped into the Chao Phraya river instead.

After paying respect, you can proceed to the meditation hall - it is a 8 angle one story chedi located near a large Bodhi tree (part of the original Sri Maha Bodhi tree in Sri Lanka).

During office hours, the meditation hall (fully air con) is opened for people to go in to meditate. There is continous chanting going on in the hall. I have been to this place a few times to meditate while visiting Bangkok and found that it is really peaceful.

Above: Life sized wax statue of Somdej Phra Buddhacara found in the meditation hall.

You may have noticed pictures of this teacher at many places around Thailand, but if you are not from local, you may not know his life story to fully appreciate the magnitude of this great teacher. He was born in 1776. For more accounts of his life, please read

Legends of Somdet Toh, translated from Thai by Thinassaro Bhikkhu, available at AccesstoInsight.org.

After reading, you will understand why so many people still pay respect to him till this day.

How to get to Wat Pa Baan Taad

The following information is obtained from http://www.luangta.com/resume/map.php (the website is in Thai, but if you install the Google Toolbar, you can translate the site to English)

Refer earlier article How to get to Wat Baan Taad (Luangta's temple)

Note: Please verify the flight, train and bus information prior to booking.

Getting to Wat Pa Ban Tat.
1. Aircraft
- The flight between Bangkok - Udon Thani per day following the third flight.
1) at 6:50 pm
2) at 12.30 am
3) at 18:15 pm

- With flights between Udon Thani - Bangkok 3 per day flight following.
A) at 8:40 pm
2) at 14:25 pm
3) at 20:05 pm

2. Train(Note: Please check with the State Railway of Thailand prior to departure because some of the train are cargo trains and is very uncomfortable- the journey is overnight).
- Between the bus Bangkok - Udon Thani every day from Bangkok Railway Station.Time as follows.
1) at 6:00 pm train speed Bangkok - Nong Khai
2) at 8:20 pm passenger air-conditioned Bangkok - Udon Thani
3) From 18:30 hrs train speed Bangkok - Nong Khai
4) at 20:00 am conditioned passenger Bangkok - Nong Khai
5) Time 20.45 pm express train Bangkok - Nong Khai

- A bus between Udon Thani - Bangkok every day from the train station, Udon Thani
Time as follows.
1) at 7:26 pm Air passenger Khai - Bangkok
2) From 09:15 hrs train speed Khai - Bangkok
3) at 18:35 am conditioned passenger Udon Thani - Bangkok
4) From 19:04 hrs train soon Nong Khai - Bangkok
5) at 20.02 pm express train Nong Khai - Bangkok

3. Coach
- A bus from the North Eastern Tour several companies. Mo Chit bus terminal to Kamphaeng Phet Road, Chatuchak, Bangkok 10900.

Considerations before your ordain without your family's blessings

I thought of sharing a real life story of a nun, relayed firsthand to me for those who consider going for ordination and facing objection from parents.

This nun was kind to share with me her own story, because saw me as the same person she was years ago.

Many readers had mistaken me for a man, or even a monk. I am actually a laywoman.

And I’ve always have the affinity towards temple. I remember the first time years ago I went and stay in a forest monastery as a 8 preceptor, tears went down my eyes as I sat, last along other nuns as we are eating with the monks at the sala hall. And the same thing happened when the monks recited Dhammacakkapavatana sutta (Turning of the Wheel of Dhamma) during evening chanting. I felt my life belonged in the temple- that I had eaten many such meals in my past lives and that I was likely a monk. That feeling of familiarity was unmistakable- when I had to leave the monastery to go back to work, I felt so sad.

That time I was working and felt trapped by the demands of worldly life.

Back to the story of this nun- she came to know the teachings of a particular monk around her twenties. That time she was a laywoman working with the government service. Like me, she spent her holidays and leave in retreats. The teacher sometimes travelled and she had been part of the entourage to different countries (of course she paid for her own expenses).

She wanted to ordain, but her mother repeatedly said no.

At the age of forty, she made a firm decision- she went to work one day and submitted her resignation. It was only much later that she told her family that she had tendered her resignation. Her mom asked why didn’t she consulted her?

I was surprised and told her that if she had just waited, she could opt for early optional retirement (during her time government workers can submit request for early optional retirement as early as age 45- they will not get the full pension, but at least every month, there would be pension paid and they will enjoy medical benefits). She nodded but told me that at that time, she knew about the option but was determined and stubborn. She had been so sure that this is the life for her. She couldn’t wait- so sure was she of her decision that she did not want anyone to sidetrack her of her plans.

She was told her mom that since she is not allowed to ordain, she would just ‘obey’ but she will just stay at home and remain as a white robed 8 preceptor laywoman. She made it know that while her body was there, her heart was in a monastery. She will not look for a job, but will spend time living as a contemplative at home, just that not at the forest.

That time, she had put aside some savings so she was relatively independent and could even make some retreat trips overseas. Her mom was devastated but knew she could do nothing about it.

But she broke her mother’s heart. For about 8 or 9 years, her mom watched her with sad eyes, helpless to do anything. No matter how successful other siblings were, it did nothing much to heal her mom’s broken heart. She ordained shortly after her mother passed away.

As she told me her story, her eyes were red and she was trying to hold back tears.

It has been decades since she is in the robes- but she told me in no uncertain terms that she deeply regretted hurting her mom like this. She realized years later that her mom would have given her permission to ordain, once her mom knew that she is financially secured and that the pension would take care of her. No matter how many children her mom has, her mom still love all of them- even though she has other brothers and sisters, she was still special in her mom’s heart. And because she left with no pension, and her savings is now drying up, she had to still worry about living and medical expenses, since she also now have health problems.

I could see that the guilt and regret had affected her practice…even though her mom had passed away a long time ago. There was no way she was able to make amends and therefore the regret stays with her forever. She told me that she now suffered from joint pains and at times like that, it reminded her of how much she misses her mom deeply. Her mom would have know the right kind of medicine to give her and comforted her.

This nun has been very kind to me- by sharing with me her story at the time when I was tempted to follow her shoes. On the outward, she looks calm and happy and she is always there to help others. But when she saw that I may be heading the same direction as her, she shared…

Like her, I had felt that I belonged to the temple life. In fact, I have spent sometime living in the temples of Thailand after I eventually left my job. I had wished so desperately that my family will understand and accept- and sadly, during that almost one year that I was away, more than half my mom’s previous dark hair had turned white (from the heartbreak that I caused her). My brother told me that the family is too small to be broken down further – there’s only the 3 of us as we do not have close relatives.

My teacher asked me to go back because my family needs me. She said that the time will come, in future as I have strong Dhamma inclination. The fact that my family needs me indicate that the time is not now. I asked her, ‘but many people including yourself had ordained even though they went against their family and in the end, their family had accepted’.

(In fact, my teacher’s life story was that- and her family had grown to accept after 7 years….when her father saw one of the Head District paying respect by bowing down at my teacher. And her father figured that her daughter must have accomplished something to earn that kind of respect. From that day on, her father never asked her to disrobe. )

She told me, “yes, there are those who have ordained despite against their family’s wishes. But I can tell you that if you do it now, your mom will die from heartbreak because of you. Years later, with very deep concentration, you will realize the love your mom had for you and how you shattered her heart. And the guilt will kill you and obstruct your practice. Do you think you can live with the guilt?”

I felt silent and lowered my head. I knew my teacher was right.

I came back and eventually got myself a job- which I took because she called me and asked me to stop sabotaging my interviews (she had knew that I purposely make potential interviewers don’t want to hire me so that I could tell my mom I could not find a job and wanted to go back to Thailand to complete the vassa). This job turns out to be a great blessing- I had to face situations that made me apply the teachings of the Buddha- such as forgiving those who were really mean to me and eventually earning their respect, being patient and overcoming a lot of personal limitations.

Through ongoing practice (my teacher told me that daily mindfulness is important- she said, whenever I remember while doing work or any task, try to chant Buddho, Buddho). With that, I spent more time meditating everyday instead of just that 10 minutes sitting on the cushion.

And I am beginning to realize that indeed I do have a lot of ‘unfinished business’ on this earth to complete.

As my mind calm down, I realized that I had certain abilities that can be put to help a lot of people. I am now putting these abilities to use to benefit other people instead of previously just earning big bucks. My relationship with my family is so much better and closer now- than it ever had been before I had gone to Thailand. In the past, I was so pressured in my previous job that I had so much inner rage and guilt when I constantly lose my temper. Now my temper seemed to be non existent- and I spent a lot of quality time with my mom.

We can discover meaning in life in this lay life. We can realize that inner peace can be found regardless of anywhere we were so long as we put the teachings of Buddha into practice. If we have not sorted out the inner garbage and thinking that the whole world is cruel and want to escape in the monastery, the same problems will resurface. And we may disrupt the peace of others.

Eventually I know my place in future is in the temple- because I felt more at home at a temple than anywhere else. But right now, I have worldly duties to fulfill- and I will fulfill them with a willing heart and at the same time, improve on my practice and others as well. The worldly situation thrown to us daily is actually a good practice and testing point of our Dhamma practice.

Because, like the world outside, staying in monasteries also present similar sets of problems. The world works like this- so long as we have not faced up to a situation and overcome our limitations, the same annoying scenerios will appear again and again. Ever notice that the same problems that causes you to resign from your job presents itself in your current job? The issue could be within us and it requires courage to deal with it.

When in the monastery, dealing with our inner demons become a full time job- and I don't know why a lot of people have the idea that everyone who stay in the forest are escaping from reality....some are, but some aren't.

Dealing with your own self (because a good teacher will make you take accountability and stop blaming others for your misery, discomfort and unhappiness) on an ongoing basis is so much more tougher and difficult. I can tell you that because I've been through that- once the novelty wears off, you are left with the daily grind of self-practice. Those who gone to the monastery to escape the problems of the world or to run away from facing their inner self eventually found that the answer is not in the forest or cemetery. When they could not find the solutions or develop psychic jhanas they leave.....and sometimes blame the monastery for their failed practice.

Because as much as people think that monks and nuns have an easy life- but if you're in it for real, my friend, it's times harder than the real world. But the inner treasures that you bring with you are priceless and worth it that it cannot be bought by all the wealth in the world.

I share my humble personal experience of the above because I know some of you may be in the same shoes. The decision for each one of us may differ according to our own conditionings. When in doubt, pray to Buddha for answers with a sincere heart. With sincere faith, someone, perhaps a teacher or a friend who would come along and offer you just the advice you need or a point of view that you’ve missed out. Keep an open mind and don’t immediately dismiss what other people are saying just because they don’t fit into your way of thinking.

About Luang Phor Kasem Kemako

Susarn Trailaksana (Trailaksana Cementery),

Lampang Province.

A monk exceptionally dedicated to Vipassana Kammatthana (Buddhist insight meditation). Through the principle of contentment and mental control over the body, he attained the final stage of meditation while seated in front of the funeral pyre. He has liberated himself from defilements and he is full of boundless compassion.

(Click on the picture above to read the version in Thai, Mandarin and Japanese language. )

Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen, Bangkok

My apologies, I am not sure how to get to the temple but I know it is not far from Thonburi area. If you would like to visit the temple, you can print the name of the temple above- taxi drivers who can read the Thai writing will likely know how to get there.

Ajahn Lee Dhammadaro's passing away in 1961

Above is a photo of Ajahn Lee's passing away in 1961 at Wat Asokaram. A great teacher was lost on the year. Phra Ajahn Lee was an excellent teacher. His teachings were recording and transcribed into books by his disciples. To read his teachings online, please go to http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/lee/index.html

Note: I got the photo above while visiting Wat Asokaram. I was looking at the list of items being on sale at the floor below the shrine hall when this photo caught my eye. I was looking at it for a long time and wanted to purchase it. A white robe nun was looking after the stall- she gave me the picture.

During the initial tough periods of my life years ago when I was searching for lots of answers to the questions I had, his writings had provided me with a lot of comfort. Books like Handbook for the Relief of Suffering and Inner Strength in which I've printed out from Accesstoinsight when I start owning a computer and a printer and filed it up to be read. If you read with your heart, and not your head, you can appreciate the depth of the teachings- far surpassing a lot of commercial books that are being sold today. The truths are profound, yet told in a simple way using the language of the heart.

I've read so many self help and even psychology books since I was in my teens decades ago before I encountered the teachings of Thai Forest Tradition. Somehow, there is a lack of self of empowerment in conventional psychology and that it seemed that whatever happens in your life is due to external circumstances- your family, your genes, background, teachers, friends, media, etc etc. If one is not careful, one ended up with the 'victim' mentality and feeling helpless. It is only recent years that more and more authors start to write about self-accountability- for so long as we never look within, we can never solve our inner issues.

Still, after years of searching, I find the teachings of the forests Masters to be most effective for me personally. It can be tough- because you don't visualise things that you want or to apply positive thinking like what you read in those books.... instead, your role is to learn to let go your mind's grasp of those things.

When you let go, your heart will be free, light and it does not matter regardless of where you live, or if you have friends or money.